


mirror mirror on the wall, is he the other half of my soul?

by MercuryM



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 05, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 02:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16845652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryM/pseuds/MercuryM
Summary: It was inevitable, she thought, like all things between them. It was as easy as breathing and as hard as it was pulling the lever down at Mount Weather. But even in this--this mess of feelings and intentions, and the constant battle between what their minds insisted on and what their hearts desperately wanted--even in this, they were stilltogether.





	mirror mirror on the wall, is he the other half of my soul?

**Author's Note:**

> For anonymous who requested number 56. “What, you’ve never thought about us?” from a prompt list over on tumblr.  
>   
> If this seems out of character, etc., keep in mind that I haven't seen most of season 5. The last episode I've watched was 5x04 or so, but I do know the general gist of the season. Also, it's been quite a while since I've written and actually posted something, so excuse my rusty skills. Shoutout to Jade for putting up with me and looking over my fics at the weirdest hours of the day, ily.

It was inevitable, she thought, like all things between them. It was as easy as breathing and as hard as it was pulling the lever down at Mount Weather. But even in this--this mess of feelings and intentions, and the constant battle between what their minds insisted on and what their hearts desperately wanted--even in this, they were still _together_.

Clarke had lost count how many times she had wished for a simpler life, one without death and destruction, without sorrow and impossible choices. Yet, she would look at his face--Bellamy’s face, the little dip in his chin, the freckles hidden across his darker skin, the pain and resolve in his eyes--and then _nothing_ else would matter.

And suddenly Clarke would be a dichotomy between her past and her present, her head and her heart, between what was right for her and what was right for them.

 _Them_. It had such a nice ring to it, a clear, lovely sound that had kept her sane for the six years she only had Madi to content herself with, and her only saving grace was looking at the stars and hoping-- _praying_ \--he was looking back.

It felt good to have him back, it felt even better to feel his beating heart under her hand. He gave her strength like no one else could. That scared her more than the radiation wave that had descended over her and almost killed her all those years ago. It made her shake--oh, the power he had over her--but it also breathed calm and love and bravery in her desperate lungs, and for that, for _him_ , she was willing to face the darkness of the universe.

“What do you think?”

She turned to look at him, tearing her eyes away from the new planet, from the hope bubbling in her chest. Bellamy looked so good like this--well-rested, clean, happy in a way she hadn’t seen in so long, _smiling_.

“It looks promising, if nothing else. Clean air, plenty of land we can use, water we can purify and use to cultivate algae if nothing else works.”

“God, no more algae, please.” He sounded exasperated, a pained grimace on his face as he thought back on the long years up on the Ark ring.

She muffled her laugh by biting her lip and turning to look out the viewing window again, but her shoulders shook with it and Bellamy bumped her good-naturally, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest in jest.

Clarke stretched her arms over her head, feeling her spine align with few satisfactory pops. A few days out of cryo still weren’t enough for her to shake off the weird lethargy and dizziness that seemed to plague her.  

Bellamy grinned and leaned against the reinforced glass. “You sound like an old lady, Clarke.”

“Take that back, Bellamy Blake!” She gasped in outrage and poked him in the ribs.

He laughed, loud and genuine and so him, and caught her returning fingers when she went to poke him again. “If it’s any consolation, you don’t look a day past one hundred and twenty.”

His palm was warm against her cold fingers and she let him hold them, pleasant shivers racing down her back as his thumb started drawing circles on the inner side of her wrist.

“That will never not be weird,” she muttered, moving closer to Bellamy, drawn by the promise of his warmth. “I’m what, one hundred and forty-nine years old now? God,” she chuckled and leaned against the glass, close enough to feel the air he exhaled with every breath. “And to think I never thought I’d survive to see my eighteenth birthday.”

“Well,” Bellamy glanced at the new planet awaiting their arrival, “I say our retirement looks good.”

Clarke hummed, and let her head fall against his shoulder, tired of pretending she could resist the pull between them, tired of pretending she could resist him.

“Do you think we’ll get a warm welcome?”

His thumb stopped moving only for him to intertwine their fingers together, bringing their hands to rest over the crook of his elbow as he crossed his hands again.

“Knowing our luck, probably not. But,” he tipped his head to rest against hers, “we have each other. That’s all that matters.”

And in the grand scheme of things, that really was all that mattered. Clarke had learned that the hard way. Because at the end of the day, all the bloodshed, the regrets, the fear and pain and constant worry--all that came to a halt just by being in his presence, and all at once breathing was easier than before.

She had missed him so much, missed _them_ and what they were-- _are_ \--and the lengths they would go for each other. It was reassuring to know he was always in her corner even if they didn’t always agree on things, and she didn’t doubt that he felt the same way about her. Six years apart and she still knew him better than she knew herself.

Then, as if feeling the direction in which her mind went, Bellamy raised their clasped hands and kissed the back of her hand, his eyes closed as if to savour the moment.

Her head came up, jostling their position and he blinked at her, languidly, then his lips stretched in a small grin, affectionate and mischievous all at once.  

“What, you never thought about us?” His tone was light but the tightness around his eyes betrayed his apparent calm and Clarke’s heart started beating a wild tattoo against her ribcage.

They hadn’t spoken about this unnamed thing between them when she left after Mount Weather and when she came back. They didn’t talk about it when they were fighting against ALIE’s hold and when they were trying to prevent the second apocalypse. They didn’t mentioned it when they went their separate ways in that snowy field, nor did they touch upon it when they finally met again and Bellamy had a girlfriend and Clarke--a child to look after. But most of all, they ignored it when finally things settled down and the future didn’t look so bleak, when Bellamy had an ex on board and Clarke fellow friends to help her bring up a kid.

To have this-- _them, together, in every sense and meaning of the word_ \--now, at last, felt like a _pipe dream_.

Her breath hitched. “I have.” And she truly had--every second of every minute of every day, a niggling thought at the back of her mind that became as familiar and easy to accept as the way she would blink her eyes open in the morning. “I just didn’t think we would--” _get to have this_ she didn’t say, but he knew, he always knew.

He uncrossed his arms and pulled her closer, one arm winding around her back and the other still holding her hand, two points of contact that filled her with liquid heat. It was easy being in his arms, it was even easier to let her forehead rest against his and brush her lips against his. It wasn’t even a proper kiss, yet it felt like everything she would have ever wanted.

“Why now?”

He finally let go of her hand and used his fingers to trace the side of her face, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear before moving down to her chin and tugging her gently for another chaste kiss.

“I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting this, I’m tired of deluding myself I’m happy with other people, but most of all, Clarke, I’m tired of not having you with me.” The pain in his voice was heartbreaking and Clarke wove her hands around his neck, into his curly hair and got lost in his mouth, intending to fill the gaps in his heart with all the love she felt for him until his whole being shone with the truth and strength of her feelings, and then some more.

“You have me. You’ve always had me.”

Bellamy just kissed her harder, his mouth almost desperate against hers and she gladly welcomed it all.

The unknown sun shone over their new home and Clarke and Bellamy greeted something new. Something old. Something _them_.

“You’ll always have me.” A promise and a curse. One that they would happily carry until the rest of their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and kudos are always appreciated :)  
> \- M.


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